If someone were to consistently demonstrate a ‘practice’ of non-commitment then what he or she is getting good at is ‘failure’. Whether it is failure, as in falling on their face or failure to follow-through, it is still failure, because the original goals are never being met. Whatever the explanation, typically, it will always comes down to fear: fear of something, whether its’ winning, losing, power, and control, whatever. It’s all the same: fear of fear. Avoiding it, excusing it, rationalizing it will always leave a void in your heart or head (dooming you to have that recurring ‘if only I had’ moment when you’re sitting in the proverbial rocking chair of life). This behavior, if it becomes chronic, weakens our spirit and robs us of our potential.
So whether it’s about being a recreational tournament grappler, World Championship contender, MMA star on the rise, a parent, and entrepreneur and so on, (the subject isn’t important – the effort is), creating a plan and a goal is the first step. Following through is the exercise. That’s where the most critical education is to be found – in the effort. Effort leads to success. We all now of athletes to small and too slow to play in the NFL, yet they became Hall of Fame players. Of the “C” student who worked hard planning and them executing who made millions, but many of the “A” students never would commit to action. Effort leads to the accomplishment of one goal, then another, then another sequentially.
If You Know You Should Be Doing Something More, Then Chances Are You Also ‘NEED’ To Do Something About It.
That doesn’t mean that we need to get all pumped up and recklessly run to the gym. The secret is not some Kamikaze approach of diving in screaming NO FEAR!! (though that sometimes can work). The real secret is more contemplative, it’s about diving in smiling, thinking KNOW FEAR. I must ‘know fear’ in order to evolve.
So one of the secrets to success is in organizing your goals incrementally so that they can be met realistically. Each small success builds strength and confidence to accomplish the next. Strategy related to self-growth must be done in stages. If you’ve never run a day in your life, do not enter a marathon to get started. Chances are you’ll quit or not even show up on the day of the race. When we do this sort of thing too often (hesitate, quit, rationalize) it is both habit forming and noxious. (You talk, you start the walk, and you stop. Repeat). The real danger is two-fold: the immediate failure short term and the more serious practice of non-commitment which can become emotionally lethal. It’ll kill your confidence – and depending on the scope or frequency of this behavior, it can undo relationships because it destroys trust.
Understand your essence. Humans are living organisms and we are meant to grow. Life presents us with obstacles to test our intuitive appreciation of this truth, to help us discover who we are and what we value and what we want to be. When we shirk those responsibilities we condemn our personal growth. This is a universal truth. We must ‘commit’ to the truth. But it is a person’s inability to commit that undermines their success.
Remember, life presents us all with confrontations, sometimes on a daily basis. How we handle those confrontations determines the quality of our day, but ultimately, it determines the quality of our lives! Again, it’s not about the winning or the losing, it’s about getting in there and being a participant in life.
Aside from the daily bonus of confronting and managing small obstacles, the serendipity of ‘managing ones fear’ is that it always leads to a NEW you; it’s a pathway to your personal growth and evolution. Confronting fear empowers and is the catalyst to ‘self-actualization’.
BJJ offers an awesome means by which to know your fears and manage them. If you persevere in you efforts on the mat, you gain proficiency and competence which leads to small successes and boosts in confidence. Confidence allows you to access your knowledge on the mat and use your technique as opposed to being mentally panicked which paralyzes our thoughts, squelches strategic or tactical thinking and reduces the quality of our game.
Recognize this process. Appreciate this process. Be in the moment and commit to your goal!
Train hard & stay safe,
Tony Blauer is CEO of BLAUER TACTICAL SYSTEMS (BTS) which is one of the world’s leading consulting firms specializing in research & development of combative training & equipment for the military, law enforcement and self-defense communities. BTS has taught key performance enhancement, fear management, and combatives based on S.P.E.A.R. System research to military, law enforcement and civilian personnel since 1988.